13 Things you only know if you are left handed…


  1. Everything smudges Right handed people have got it so good, because they write away from the ink. Whereas us lefties are writing into the ink, and this leads to severe smudges when using anything other than a humble biro. Those fancy fountain pens are the absolute worst.
  2. The lovely staining on your hand Writing into the ink results not only in smudging, but also leaves a beautiful stain across the side of your hand. This is usually either a lovely hue of grey, black or blue. If you’re been super busy that day, then sometimes you are blessed with a fusion of all three. Fantastic.
  3. There is a technique When it comes to writing you have two options, either throw yourself into the world of smudged documents or adopt the special writing technique that involves looking like you’re writing upside down. If you have adopted the latter, then you have lost count of how many people have been interested in your supposed upside-down writing skills. In fact, you didn’t even realise it was something special until people pointed it out to you.
  4. The Leftorium = the dream Ah Ned Flanders, he made our dreams comes true with his special store. Your dream was always to visit a real-life treasure trove full of everything for your leftie needs.
  5. Primary school challenges Growing up there was no such thing as innocently grabbing a pair of scissors and going all out with your art project. You had to hunt around for your special left-handed scissors. Running up to the blackboard, grabbing the chalk and scribbling an answer was a strict no no, because you would end up with chalk all over your school jumper. And you didn’t even join in with activities on the whiteboard, because you would wipe everything off as you went along.
  6. The ridicule Sometimes it does get annoying that even now people think being left handed is something to poke fun at. And you’re convinced that even when your nearest and dearest discover your leftie ways they treat you a little different.
  7. Then the assumptions Wow, you must be so creative. Erm no, I can just about draw stick figures. Do you right from right to left? Nope, I write in the same direction as the rest of the country.
  8. You have a defensive streak Thanks to years of mocking and teasing you have a list of famous fellow lefties that you like to reveal to people when you are being ridiculed. You love telling everyone that Barack Obama, Robert De Niro, Prince William and Lady Gaga are part of the special left-handed crew.
  9. Complex handshakes Yep, apparently the only universally correct way to shake someone’s hand is to go for the right hand. A nightmare in work scenarios.
  10. Strange pens Lefties have a theory that all pens are out to get us. If this isn’t true, then why are the pens in places like banks and post offices always attached to those devilish little beads to satisfy the needs of right handers only?
  11. Setting the table struggles Cutlery is always placed to the right of the dish, so when you set the table do you go rogue and make it leftie friendly? Or do you go with the status quo appease the right-handed majority? Are you offending people by changing it up? Such exhausting decisions results in giving up and calling a pizza instead and eating it straight from the box.
  12. Spiral notebooks = the worst Those notebooks with the spiral in the middle are actually discreet torture devices for lefties. The pain of starting at the margin is unbearable.
  13. 13. Constant elbow bumping You have sadly accepted that you will spend your life bumping elbows with right handed folk, undertaking little battles in public spaces like the bar, the cinema, the photocopier and of course at the gym. You no longer bother apologising, you just throw up your left hand, point to it and shrug.
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